Pantyhose creeper...

Have you ever encountered an adventure with a pair of pantyhose? Well today was my day. 
First of all I tried on three outfits this morning before finding something that I felt comfortable in.  I wanted to wear a suit that required the wearing of the "dreaded pantyhose" instead of the knee highs that I normally wear when getting dressed for church. 
10:50 am ...So far so good...  No runs, they are on the legs straight, no twists and they felt secure.  I felt like a million dollars with my legs showing beneath the just below the knee hem line of my beautiful skirt.  This was a different attire for me as I normally only wear long dresses.  Off to church we go.
10:55 am...pull into the church parking lot, get out of the van and walk toward the church doors.  Open the door and walk into the hallway leading to the foyer when all of a sudden I felt something different around my butt cheeks.  Those d*** pantyhose decided that they didn't want to be around my waist and thought that the butt cheeks would be a better place to ride.
What was I going to do...the meeting was going to start in five minutes and I did not have time to run home, change and get back for Sacrament.  I quickly grabbed one side of my skirt, making sure the pantyhose was in my grasp and hurried into the chapel and sat down.  Good, now I don't have to move until it is time to leave.  One hour and ten minutes before I had to worry how I was going to make it to the car.
12:10 pm....closing prayer...please no one stop me in my mad dash to the car..get up, bow my head, grab my skirt/pantyhose and start up the isle to leave...make it to the foyer....where is Dick...hurry up dear husband my pantyhose are starting to get lower...stopped by my hometeacher...oh no,  please don't talk to long or try to shake my hand....finally Dick shows up and down the hall I head...out the door I go lickety split and make it almost to the car when those d*** pantyhose went right to my knees.  By this time I am laughing so hard I can hardly see. I jumped into the car and split a gut laughing at the scene in my mind of me being attached by pantyhose.
Dick got to the car and found me laughing hysterically.  He said, "I thought you wanted to stay for Sunday School but you left in such a hurry I could not catch up with you." 
I told him I had lost my pantyhose and did not know where the restroom was to fix myself and thought it might be best to just go home to  fix my problem.  Then he started to laugh.
When I got home and took off the pantyhose, there was not a bit of elastic in the waist.  They must have been very old and worn out.
Tonight the Bishop and his wife dropped by to see us.  Low and behold, I had already gotten ready for bed so had to get dressed before I could go into the living room to visit.  When they left, Dick, in his wittiness, asked me why I didn't tell them why I left so fast after Sacrament.  I am sure that they would not have liked me to share with them my caper with my pantyhose.
Beware of those dreaded pantyhose.  They are out to only embarrass you in your weakest moment.